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We are wrong in thinking that firmness is neither useful nor beneficial for the child. Scientific research to date affirms that discipline is necessary if we want our children to feel safe and happy.
It seems contradictory but, it is so. It is normal that a priori we think that a child is happier when he has no rules or limits to abide by, but what happens is just the opposite. This is what happens when parents lack firmness when educating their children.
Children in whose homes there is clear, consistent and consistent discipline feel comfortable and safe. This gives them great peace of mind when they understand that the adults in their environment are in control since they are not in a position to do so and they automatically relax.
There are five fundamental ingredients to be able to educate our children successfully:
- Sense of humor.
Firmness is necessary, of course, but it is not enough. It is important that Let us use the same dose of firmness as of affection in the education of our children. In addition, we must train our patience and willpower not to fall before their demands for being the easiest way.
Being firm and being congruent with it is not easy and it may not be the most comfortable option but, instead, it is the most recommended.
For example, if our son asks us at night to let him play the video game on the Tablet for 30 minutes, the easiest and as for everyone is to say yes so that he can continue playing, do not get angry, do not "make a scene" and do not disturb the family climate.
But, if there is a clear and well-defined rule about the time of use of the Tablet, we must be firm in the face of said rule, otherwise the child will learn to function as he pleases at all times, ignoring the imposed rules. And unsurprisingly, this does not benefit the child at all.
By last, it is essential to use a sense of humor, This works great with children and has very good results. Using a sense of humor helps the relationship with our son not deteriorate by avoiding arguing over unnecessary things. But using humor we can make them see that they are not going to get away with it.
- Let the child know what is expected of him and indicate how he can comply with it.
- Clearly define permitted behaviors and non-tolerable behaviors.
- Define what the consequences of their actions will be.
- Act as a team avoiding disavowing the other party.
- Be constant and consistent with the disciplinary measures taken.
- Do not lose control, do not yell, do not hit, do not blackmail, do not threaten. You are not firmer for doing this type of behavior.
- Be firm before the tyrannical demands of the child, do not give in and do not negotiate with the child when his behavior is inadmissible.
- Promote a relationship of mutual respect.
- Be fair and try to ensure that the consequences are proportionate to the inappropriate behavior of the child.
The best thing is to treat our children warmly and firmly. It is highly recommended to promote correct communication with our children by promoting the use of dialogue to resolve conflicts or reach consensus. And, above all, be understanding and affectionate with them.
You can read more articles similar to Parents with lack of firmness when educating their children, in the category of On-site Education.