Christmas in the families of separated parents

Christmas in the families of separated parents

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Sometimes separation from parents is a necessary evil for the family. Making this decision is difficult, especially for children, who suffer the most when the things go wrong in the family. These special dates, times when past times are remembered, are especially difficult for everyone.

The problems at Christmas in the families of separated parents are accentuated. On the one hand, children notice more absences and differences with respect to previous years, and on the other, Christmas is also a particularly hard time of year for parents because they trigger discussions with their former partners to avoid the absences of their children. Given this scenario, the best thing is to try to normalize the situation, putting in place some Behavior patterns help all parties involved to handle this complicated emotional situation.

Ensuring that children spend time with both parents is essential so that they feel close to both their father and mother. It is also essential that both parents do everything in their power so that your children fully enjoy Christmas, as they did before.

If the children already have criteria to choose, you can take into consideration their preferences about how to rspread the days. But, the most advisable thing is that the parents make the decisions, since the child can take their choice as something very personal, seeming to be loving one more than the other, when both are their parents. With the decision already made, the child will not feel guilty.

Respecting traditions will also help children take the subject of dates more naturally. Thus, for example, it will be easier for them to relate Christmas Eve with the maternal grandmother's house, on Christmas day with the opening of the gifts at Mom's house or New Year's Eve with paternal grandparents, if it has always been like that. When the time comes, the parent who loses the child's company should avoid showing anguish or sadness.

It is recommended that you try encourage your child to have a good time and enjoy your vacation with the other family. It is also a good idea to allow the other parent to sit near your child through a phone call, for example to congratulate him on the New Year or to tell him what the Three Kings have brought him.

Competing for the best gift for children is a mistake. Trying to buy her love with material things is dangerous and has its counterpart. Although in the moment, we feel happy seeing them enjoy, in the long term we can turn the relationship into materialistic and interested. Children can become manipulative and stop spending time with us, for example, if we don't constantly give them things.

To avoid manipulations or undesirable comparisons, the ideal is to agree with the other the gifts that the children are going to receive and distribute the cost economic without entering competitions.

Create a festive atmosphere at home with the Christmas decorations, the singing of Christmas carols and the Christmas activities typical of these dates.

It is important to seek the welfare of children, avoiding Vacuum sensation, even though, if the separation has taken place recently, don't have the body for parties. To do this, reserve time to assemble the Christmas tree or the Nativity scene, cook a Christmas recipe together, listen Christmas carols and share a time of games with cousins ​​or grandparents. The most important thing for children is to live Christmas in a relaxed atmosphere, without dislikes or arguments. The best gift is a merry Christmas.

If the rest of the year, the time to see your father or mother comes every 15 days, at Christmas the same thing happens and should not be dramatized. Avoid thinking that the child is going to be sad because they are not with their father or mother because the situation is part of everyday life. Trying to substitute for the other parent's fault, indulging in everything or entertaining him with many gifts, will probably not help, but will confuse him.

Christmas in families of separated parents should be as normalized as possible.

Marisol New

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