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Norms and limits are necessary for the education of children. Our children need limits, not only for their education, but because limits make them feel more secure in your enviroment.
But within those norms, which each one imposes at home; There are certain nuances in which it is better to agree with the children than to impose oneself by force.
Parents must tell their children what are the basic rules that they must comply with, much better if they are few but unbreakable.
There are rules that they are not negotiable, especially those that have to do with the child's health or moral and ethical values, but there are many others in which we can agree with the children in the case that it costs them to carry them out. For example: A fixed rule would be to do homework, but you can agree on how to do it or at what time.
Agree with the children gives A lot of advantages before the imposition of norms.
1- Upon reaching a agreement between the two parties we are strengthening our relationship with the child and communication.
2- We give you the option to make a decision and take responsibility for it.
3- We promote empathy with the.
4- We help you to verbalize your feelings.
5- It forces us to listen, both to parents and children, and to respect their opinions.
6- Encourage children to Look for solutions in order to reach a favorable agreement for both parties.
What not to do when agreeing with the children
- Do not agree with children under the age of five, as they do not have enough emotional maturity.
- It should not be done constantly, since everything It is not negotiable.
- Do not do it when you do not suppose no effort for the child.
- Do not make pacts to posterioriIn other words, take the opportunity to ask the child for something in exchange for something they have already done if you had not reached an agreement before.
- Do not do it in the long term, it only works if it is immediately.
- You should not punish them if they do not fulfill their part of the bargain, simply deny them to agree again shortly.
- Agreements must be made comprehensive way and without being angry.
You will see how the pacts with the children work Great to get children to do what they should, and to be happy about it.
You can read more articles similar to Reasons why you have to agree with your children, in the category of Motivation on site.