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All psychologists make it clear to us, physical punishment not only does not help the child, but we also make the mistake of trying to end bad behavior with violence.
I've heard hundreds of times that "my mother spanked me and nothing happened to me" ... really? We are what we have lived through and, if we have learned through flying shoes, cheeks or screaming, it is inevitable that it has penetrated our behavior.
But if spanking is counterproductive, how do we stop bad behavior? What tools can parents use? Experts propose the time-out technique for the rebellious and disobedient child.
All of us who are parents face stressful and overwhelming situations with our children. Children are not little angels all the time and they have tantrums, they do not know how to regulate their behavior, they scream if they get angry, they can hit their brother, throw an object ...
Our work is to teach them that all these behaviors are not appropriate and that, under no circumstances are we going to allow them. But how to do it? Psychologists speak of the time-out technique for the rebellious child:
If the child has had a bad behavior, if he has hit his sister, if he has broken a toy or if he refuses to pick up his things, we just have to remove him from that situation, without yelling and without shaking. We will remove you from the room and take you to another place where you are alone and without elements that can distract you. It is possible that in that place he does not think about what he has done, or reflect on his behavior, parents know that children in the thinking corner ... do not think!
However, we do teach him that, as long as his behavior is rebellious and disobedient, if he hurts others or does not fulfill his tasks, the only thing that he will achieve is to be removed from games, he will only achieve isolation and exclusion. He will learn without yelling and slapping that, in the face of bad behavior, he will not be able to play with others.
It is about achieving two things:
- Avoid physical punishment of the child: If a child's misbehavior leads to shouting, shaking, shoving or spanking, we will be teaching him to resolve conflicts with violence. There is nothing educational about it.
- Teach the child to regulate his behavior: learn that as long as he does harm or does not behave well, he will not be able to participate in the games. You can anticipate what will happen if you engage in this behavior, and you will learn to control yourself.
It is a technique that experts recommend for young children, between 3 and 6 years old, also for impulsive children or those with ADHD. But alwaysin combination with the technique of time within. That is, if we only base the child's education on educational consequences without working on positive reinforcement, love, attachment, or affection, he may end up feeling unloved or excluded from the group.
The time inside consists of reserving an exclusive time for the child, a moment of games, stories or laughter. A moment of meeting that is exclusively between the child and you that fosters the bonds between both.
You can read more articles similar to Time out technique for the rebellious child, in the category of Conduct on site.