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Parents know how important it is to motivate and support our children in those activities that they like and are passionate about. But just as important is motivating them, as helping them to be aware of their capabilities and limitations and also to be realistic.
Many children want to be footballers, singers, dancers, actresses, astronauts ... Regardless of what they want to do, it is important to teach them that you have to make an effort and be constant to achieve what you want, that you have to work to become what you want to be.
But there are times when our children want to be something that we as parents think or believe that they have no qualities ... what should we do? Do we tell them that they are not good for that and save them a disappointment? Do we encourage them to continue even if we think they are going to crash? We tell you how to teach the child to accept their limitations.
What many parents would do is tell them "as soon as possible" that they are not worth it, and in this way we save them the suffering of failing or the frustration of not achieving what they set out to do.
But that option may not be the best of all. If I tell my son or daughter not to try something, that it is not good for that, that he has no qualities, or I try to dissuade him from doing what he likes, I am telling him that I do not trust him or his possibilities, and I can generate insecurity in him.
It is important to explain to him that not everyone who wants to be a singer is, or not all those who want to be footballers of a first-class team achieve it and that he has to be aware of that, but that if you don't get it, nothing happens, because there are more things for which it is worth. Maybe my son wants to be a singer, but we think he doesn't have the voice for it, and he just asks me to please take him to music, to singing, to choirs ... do we have to say no because we think not okay? Maybe now I don't sing like the angels, but Why not let him do what he likes? Perhaps in the future you will not become a successful singer, but perhaps you can teach music or singing, and most importantly, you will enjoy doing what you like.
If my son or daughter wants to be a footballer, maybe what they want is to be like their idols, famous and playing in a great first team. But becoming that does not depend so much on their qualities, but on being in the right place at the right time, and that is what we have to make the child see, and that there are more options related to what they are like, (being a coach, sports journalist, etc ...). We must teach the child to accept his limitations.
It is not a question of removing that "crazy idea" from their heads as soon as possible so that they do not crash in the future. Nor is it about telling them that they will be the best soccer players, tennis players, painters, architects, singers, actresses ... Between one point and another there is a middle ground, which is that we should try to teach the child, it is that if he wants to achieve something, You have to work hard for it and make it clear that it will not be an easy road. This is valid for any "professional future" that our son wishes to achieve.
Being a footballer is more than kicking a ball, being a singer is more than singing at home and imitating our stars, being a painter is more than knowing how to draw. And that is what we have to pass on and teach our children. Teach them that it is hard work, and that, without losing sight of their goal, it is also good to have a plan B, one more option, in case I do not achieve exactly what I want. It is also important that we believe in them, because if the path they choose is hard and there are many stones to be found along the way, parents should not be one more. If we believe in them and support them, we will strengthen their self-esteem and they will believe in them. This is true for whatever goal our children set for themselves.
We have to avoid imposing our beliefs on our children, and not project our insecurities onto them, or think "poor thing, it's going to crash." It is more important that you learn to overcome a "failure" than never face a difficult situation for fear of it, to fail. But neither should we sell them "motorcycles" and that they live in a false reality in which if they want they will get everything they want.
So, as badly as our 7-year-old son sings, if his passion is singing, why not join a choir? For him to realize that this is not his thing, he will have time, so in the meantime ... why deny him enjoying what he likes?
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