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How to talk to an angry child and get him to listen to us

How to talk to an angry child and get him to listen to us



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Rare is the child who never has a tantrum or a tantrum. In those cases of anger explosion, we know that it is not possible neither to negotiate, nor to explain, nor to argue. Anger prevents them from listening to what we say to them, so there is no choice but to endure the downpour and try not to harm others or themselves.

But, what happens with all those moments of anger in the child? Do we react as we should? It is very possible that when the child gets angry about something and cries, raises his voice or even throws an object, we tend to lose patience, we yell at him, we spank him or we punish him. But before we get carried away by anger, Why don't we put these positive discipline tips into practice? They are very useful for talking to an angry child and getting him to listen to us.

In recent years there is more and more talk about positive discipline, they are techniques and strategies to educate our children imposing rules and limits but avoiding authoritarianism, shouting, spanking, punishment ... It is about educating the child from respect and affection, without forgetting, of course, discipline. Many still think that spanking is basic in education and that it is okay to yell at children. If you are one of them, you just have to try and see the difference between one educational model and another.

Children have their emotions on the surface, at an early age they lack the self-control that we have, or we adults should have. Because of this, they may have more outbursts of anger or more moments of anger and frustration, and they don't have to come to that tantrum of lying on the ground, screaming and kicking.

Those moments of anger in the child can make us lose patience and also let ourselves be carried away by emotions, well, there are a series of tips that pedagogues and experts give us to avoid having that start and get the child to pay attention to us if they are angry:

- Give example: Instead of yelling if the child is yelling, spanking him if he has thrown something, or shaking him if he hit the sister, we should be the first to handle anger. If we yell and show violent gestures, the child will be learning from our behavior and will imitate us in their angry moments. If instead of shouting, we ask the children to lower their voices: "I can't understand you like that, tell me what is happening to you without shouting and we try to find a solution", the tension of the moment will decrease and it will be easier to argue with him.

- Hear: your son is only trying to tell you his discomfort about something, he may do it loudly or through tears and that makes you desperate. But, ultimately, if you stay calm, get down to his height and ask him to explain what is happening to him in a calm way, he will feel heard and cared for, and the level of anger will decrease as you can give him solutions or remedy what has happened. It is about responding with affection and showing interest will make the child respond positively.

- To de-dramatize: If your child gets upset about unimportant things on a regular basis, don't give it to him. Do not pay too much attention to the whims he may have and do not be very angry about something unimportant.

- Curb aggressiveness: If the child totally loses his nerves and begins to hit, hold him by the arms and looking into his eyes tell him that you are not going to allow this type of behavior. Stay firm and forceful.

- Deep breathWhen the angry child refuses to do what we ask instead of responding by shouting "I HAVE TOLD YOU TWELVE TIMES TO PICK UP YOUR TOYS," take a deep breath, or walk away for a second and come back calmly. Use positive discipline: "Okay, you've decided not to pick them up, but then you won't be able to play with them later." They are consequences to their actions that the child will assimilate and will prevent the day to day from being a continual shouting from each other.

- Speak fondly: Explain that you understand what is happening to him, that sometimes you also feel angry and tired and try to find a solution to the complaint or anger. Talking calmly and gently to your child helps to calm the child's anger and to get their attention. You can even do some mime, a caress, a hug ... it may only be drawing your attention because it demands affection.

-Offer alternatives: If the child's anger is increasing, we must offer another activity to entertain him before the big tantrum breaks out.

You can read more articles similar to How to talk to an angry child and get him to listen to us, in the category of Conduct on site.


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