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No mom, just me: rebellion or autonomy?

No mom, just me: rebellion or autonomy?



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My two-year-old son constantly tells me with his rag tongue: "No mom, just me." If I button his coat, he, very upset, unbuttons it and then does it himself, looking at me defiantly; If I bring him his little backpack, he rebels and says a long "nooo, me." How should we act before this new stage of our son?

Surely you think, as I do, that it is pure stubbornness. It seems that he acts this way to contradict me: if I say here, he says there, if I want to put his shoes on, he refuses outright because he wants to do it on his own (although in the end, he gives up his intention because it is more difficult than I expected) ...

In part, these rebellions are common at this age, but it is also clear that children love to feel older. They want to grow and show us, with more or less effusiveness, that they can do things, or at least they want to try to do the same as us, and what a genius! Are they going to be less than the others?

This habitual behavior from the age of two and that may seem somewhat challenging or typical of a stubborn or stubborn child, is really the concern to be independent and autonomous that awakens in them, they try to show us their new skills and their efforts to overcome , and therefore they need us to place our trust in them and give them the possibility to let them act freely.

The way to intelligently channel this "stubbornness" is to give them the opportunity to apply their concerns and their new skills, allowing them to help us with daily tasks. Thus, for example, we can invite them to throw the empty yogurt in the trash, or to pick up the toys, to bring us the broom, to clean the doors with a cloth, to undress, to wash their hands ..., the list of small tasks satisfying their needs for autonomy is very long.

Each child develops capacities in a different way, each one has its own rhythm and its own fruits, but we must give everyone the opportunity to try even if they are wrong. Hit or miss, what difference does it make! Trial-error is a very important part of learning and must be accommodated on a day-to-day basis. Likewise, we must not forget the importance of empowering and increasing the independence of our children with small challenges within the reach of their little hands, after all they are the ones who demand it from us with that resounding and powerful: "no mom, just me" .

Patro Gabaldon. Copywriter

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